HOW TO WRITE A BAD POEM by Stefn Da-Pengician

1.
Use lots of adjectives instead of verbs.
Batter SPLASHED all over the cat
Batter went all over the fluffy cat.

2.
Write your poem in total isolation.
Don’t read contemporary poetry–after all–you don’t want to be influenced, even by the greats.

3
Don’t revise. Don’t bring the poem to a class, or critique group, or ask a friend. Who cares what anyone thinks, it is your poem.

4
Don’t read the poem aloud to see if it is finished and well rhymed. Why disturb your napping cat?

5
Ignore the craft of poetry–feelings don’t need images or metaphors.

6
Use a hackneyed one word title like “Death” or “Autumn.”

© Stefn Sylvester Anyatonwu

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